24 Weeks!

Our first giant milestone. Wow...how incredible it is to be here right now! Up until almost a week ago, I had never seen this week as a goal for us. I always assumed that of course we'd get here - my goal was to make it to 36 weeks or beyond! But then Monday came, and it was all I could do to focus on just making it to Friday. If we could just make it to Friday, our babies will be 24 weeks, the 'viable' gestational age and suddenly their chances for survival and quality of life will improve. It seemed silly at first to think that just a few days would make such an enormous difference in these little lives, but in all the reading and advice and doctors' talks I've had since Monday, every single extra day counts for these boys. And a whole extra week spent baking in my tummy changes their life, their world, forever.

So that belly you see up there...I stare at it, and wonder where on earth it came from. Its size and shape changes so quickly that I literally don't recognize it from day to day. I would say that it's finally starting to look as uncomfortable as it feels, though it still doesn't quite capture it the right way. I don't know if it's bed rest that's made me even more uncomfortable, or if this was happening already anyway. But I'm starting to find it very difficult to walk. My pelvis is actually in great shape (thank you Dr. Patty! I'll miss you!) so there's no pain which is great, but I can now feel the weight of my belly pulling as I stand up, my entire upper and lower back straining, and my transverse abdominal muscles stretching to the point of hurt. And if I don't walk with that classic pregnant waddle, with my legs spread as wide or wider than my hips to balance my new body and its extra weight, leading with my belly, I swear I will fall over. Rolling over in bed has become a real challenge...I think I figured out how to do it without triggering much of a contraction, but it's still incredibly uncomfortable. And if I spend even a moment flat on my back, I get the wind knocked out of me. These little guys love all that extra space and crawl right up into my diaphragm and lungs and I swear they can reach my heart, too. haha

The shape changes constantly depending on where the babies are hanging out. Sometimes it's pointy, sometimes round, sometimes it's even...flat? I mean, imagine holding a really fat delicious loaf of french bread horizontally across your belly, and that's what I'm talking about. It's like all three of them line up in a row, side by side. My belly button can change from flat to popping out in the blink of an eye.

I've gotten used to the idea of spending Christmas and New Years here at the hospital. At first I couldn't fathom the idea of being away from my family, and especially Lilah, as she's opening her gifts and playing with her little family members and experiencing her third Christmas. But I realize now the seriousness of our present situation, and giving up one holiday season in return for a lifetime of Christmas, New Years, Easter, Summer, Thanksgiving, Halloween holidays etc etc, with all of our perfect, healthy little kids, is beyond worth the sacrifice. If I was to take that small risk and a day/overnight pass and spend some time at home this holiday, and something happened, I would never ever be able to forgive myself. I would always look back at this time, at Christmas, and regret that I didn't do everything I possibly could have to stay pregnant.

So, onward we go!! Our next goal is 28 weeks - today being Day 1 of 28...though I'm going to think of it the other way around, Day 28. It'll be much easier to count down than up, I think. January 18th will be a huge party here at the hospital, and you're all invited ;)