Oh sweet Lilah. It has been far too long since mommy wrote about you, and yet I've had the intention to write about you every single day. You have grown beyond measure in the last six months, and I lose my breath when I think about how quickly that time has flown by. You are an entirely different being than you were only a short half year ago, and it's only exponentially more obvious when I look at your baby brothers and rack my brain to try and remember you being that small. How amazing it is that we are so quick to forget those amazing first years. I'm thankful to have written about you your whole life, from the moment we found out you were growing in my belly. Even if it's not readily accessible in my mind, I know that I will always have those moments recorded in time that were just for you. And yet at the same time, I am careful to try and remain present in today. I wouldn't trade who you are today for any of those younger days. You are bigger, yes. You are more independent. You've got your own thoughts and opinions. You have formed your own individual personality. You say things that shock, impress and astound me on a daily basis. You sometimes act like a teenager in a 2.5 year old's body. You love - oh how you love. YOU LOVE, so deeply and so passionately so many different things. Most of all, you love quality time with the people who love you most, and it's this time we have with one another when I get to sit by you and gaze at how you've grown in the last 6 months. Quickly, yes, but perfectly.
When I was put on hospital bed rest, it seemed like time froze. It was when you showed up for a visit one day with rosy cheeks, and we'd discovered that your 2 year molars were coming in that I realized how the world continues even when it seems what's in front of you has stopped. You grew a lot in those 6 weeks, but you were still my baby. A few days after I was discharged from hospital, we took one side off of your crib and converted it into a toddler bed. You took to it that first night and never looked back. How amazing it was, and still is, to sit beside you in your bed and read books together. You now like to pick out your own clothes, and you have an affinity for dresses (especially the fancy ones). You now know how to dress yourself from head to toe with nary a backwards shirt or arm out the head hole. You've decided that you prefer to wear your hair down 'like Rapunzle', and are quick to undue any ponytails or braids that we try to sneak on you. You've memorized words and tunes to your favourite Disney movies and Bruno Mars songs, and sing them as you bounce through the grass with the wind in your wild hair. You watch me intently as I put on makeup on the rare occasion, and mimic every brush stroke. You beg me to wear my hair down, like yours. You like to role reverse, and you play mommy most of the day. But you also like it when I call you princess Lilah, and it's always followed by you calling me queen mommy. You like to play doctor, and will spend easily 5 minutes spreading out a blanket to be just the right size for a doctor bed. It's always the same scenario - you act out an ultrasound, though you're looking for my heart beat in my tummy and seeing it on your imaginary screen, and you pick the name of your favourite nurse from the NICU for me to call you...if I forget to call you by her name, you are quick to correct me. You floss and brush your own teeth (though mommy is a stickler for oral hygiene and I can't help but get in there after your turn is done for a once over). You are learning to go to sleep all by yourself in your own room. You sometimes sleep through the night, though you've taken to a new habit of waking when the sun rises to join us for a couple more hours in bed. You've stopped taking afternoon naps, but will still catch a quick one sometimes if the mood strikes you while we're out driving in the afternoon. You enjoy some time alone every now and then, and I'll find you retreating to your room to read a few good books out loud or climbing onto my computer to play a few of your games. You are the absolute most amazing little helper that any mommy of two infant boys could ever hands down possibly ask for - you are quick to help me with diapers, making sure the breast pump stays on right, bottle warming and washing, dishes, cleaning, laundry, entertaining your baby brothers, squishing their baby cheeks and making them smile, rocking their car seats, pushing the stroller, pushing the buttons on the debit machine and the elevator, sanitizing your hands after such events, unloading the groceries, etc etc etc. There is nothing you DON'T want to help with, though you definitely feel that there is a time and place to help with certain things, and if it's not the time or place, you sure know how to make a quick turn on those heels of yours.
Today we walked through a mall together with your baby brothers after visiting their paediatrician. You informed me a few times that we didn't have time to stop by the rug store we walked passed on our way to the food court...like buying rugs was something we do so often. We cheers'd a smoothie, shared a wrap, talked about how the mail man dropped off a package for you and that we couldn't wait to get home and open it. You paid for my coffee, and held my hand. As if it wasn't already a perfect afternoon together, you melted my heart with just a few words - "Mommy, I love holding your hand". I will always, always, always love holding your hand, my little bug. I'm so lucky to be your mommy.
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